There is a local cafe that I frequent which seems to feel differently. While it is a friendly place, the staff does seem to wonder, on occasion, why they are required to wait on you, when you are obviously not as cool as you could be.
They are correct, of course: I could be cooler. Also, the coffee is pretty good, and they have sushi in the morning, which I enjoy, so they get a pass on their haughty demeanor.
Except for one thing: this note they have in the bathroom.
As I mentioned above, I am fairly secure in my privy acumen. Up to this point, only my mother has ever had any criticisms, and those came early on in my training. So, needless to say, I was taken aback by this bit of instruction posted on the cafe's bathroom wall:
Dear Customers: Please use only as much toilet paper as you need! The plumbing is very sensitive and these toilets get clogged VERY easily.
I am sympathetic to plumbing issues. In the house where I grew up, all visitors had to be instructed to "jiggle the handle" after flushing before they went into the downstairs bathroom. Signs in public restrooms with gentle reminders to not flush tampons, paper towels, small animals don't bother me. This little bit of instruction, however, goes too far.
Do the people of this cafe really believe that the general public is too decadent in its use of toilet paper? Do they imagine that we pull it off the roll like kittens, delighted as it floats on the air currents created by the exhaust fan, then let it settle in a loopy pile on the floor before stuffing it into their poor, beleaguered toilets? Or do they think they have some insight into wiping efficiency that others lack? Are they concerned that we have not fully analyzed our technique out of laziness or ignorance, and now their plumbing is paying the price? Did they initially consider hosting workshops in the proper use of the bathroom, then decided to settle for a simple sign, in the hopes of provoking thought and discussion?
Consider me provoked!
I didn't know what I was going to get with this post--SO glad I checked it out! Very Funny, and I needed a laugh! I think the note was meant for me; I tend toward your kitten analogy. I'm also dying to know what coffee house also serves sushi. No wonder they're attracting so many cat-like TP users.
ReplyDeleteNice job!
There is a wine bar here in Austin with a similar sign but something to the effect of "old plumbing." I find this odd b/c the restrooms were closed for 2 weeks due to renovation. Apparently the renovations were cosmetic specific.
ReplyDeleteSadly, I'm one of the customers who need that type of direction. My husband is fond of criticizing me for the amount of TP I tend to use on a weekly basis. I've tried to explain that I need to use it more often then he does, to no avail.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he should put up a sign.
Maybe they've had people use too much and clog the pipes before...
ReplyDeleteIf it is a unisex bathroom, the note was probably for teen-age boys, whose over-use of TP is only HALF the problem with toilet clogs...
ReplyDeleteToo funny, and so true! I wonder how they determined they had "sensitive" pipes. I think that's just a euphemism for old and about to self-destruct.
ReplyDeleteI just guffawed -- yes, that's right guffawed.
ReplyDeleteWe also had to gently remind house guests to "jiggle the handle".
Thank you Jen Deaderick, thank you.
I will use the paper at will.
LMAO. Well a fun (useless) fact I learned in one of my public health courses (no idea why I learned it there) was that on average, women use 5-6 pieces of toilet paper at a time. And as public health nerds are wont to do - we compared this with our own experiences and lo and behold - most of us figured out we were all about average in our toilet paper use. Some of your readers appear not to be, you may have a skewed audience (keep this in mind when you poll us). I cannot help but read this blog in the same tone and cadence of your tweets to Kevin? about Kermit the frog voice, makes this even funnier! Thanks Jen - I will be a regular reader. (ps that Hootsuite 'magic' you speak of is intriguing...) :o)
ReplyDeleteReminds me of the sign in the bathroom at Chester Cathedral (Cheshire, England, the oldest parts of the building dates back to the 13th century):
ReplyDelete"Please use the receptacles provided for sanitary towels.
The plumbing is about the same age as the rest of the building!"
Jen, your blog post has made me start working on a new product, "The TP Governor". It will dispense the first 15 TP sheets for free; the next 10 sheets will cost 4 quarters; the next 5 will cost 8 quarters; and each successive single sheet will be 2 quarters.
ReplyDeleteThe TP restrictive cafes will love my new product. However, I do have some concern that enraged WC users will issue a fatwa against me.